A Stinky, Empty Box

This is not a picture of this scene, but actually the scene as it runs in real time. You can see them move really slowly if you look carefully for a few hours. The movie is just THAT slow.

Let's say Saturday night rolls around and you want to see a movie. More specifically, you want to see a really slow movie because... I dunno... maybe you have a lot of time on your hands. In addition to this, you want the movie to be filled with really bad atmospheric music - the kind of tinny, headache-inducing crap that tries to convey suspense, but can't because the plot is smoking a joint and can't really see the point of "going anywhere" or "doing anything." Let's assume that on top of this all you don't want to mess with technical things like character development and a well-written script. And as far as actors go, you prefer a pretty face to any semblance of talent. Cameron Diaz and/or James Marsden might fill this role perfectly.

If this sounds like something you're in the mood for, go see "The Box."

Otherwise, avoid it like the swine flu.

-Barry

Booby Traps

It's fun, when you find the right materials, to set up booby traps in your house. Nothing dangerous or deadly. Just fun things to scare somebody. The other day, for example, I happened to find one of those semi-firework-ish noisemaker things (typically used on New Years Eve and other parties) and decided that I would tape it behind the door in Scott's bathroom. He's got a hook thing on the wall that practically begs to have an explosive device taped to it. I rigged it up so that the string would pull out when he closed the door to use the bathroom, causing the explosion to go off and (possibly) causing an early bowel movement. Once it was all in place I stood there and laughed, amazed by my ingenuity and the hilarity that would surely ensue when he closed the door.

Later that day he walked into the bathroom. I held my breath and waited for the expected BANG, but as he closed the door I heard only the familiar sound of tape ripping away from a failed booby trap. BAH.

Booby traps are still fun to make, even if they don't always work. :)

-Barry