Sunday, November 8, 2009

A Stinky, Empty Box

This is not a picture of this scene, but actually the scene as it runs in real time. You can see them move really slowly if you look carefully for a few hours. The movie is just THAT slow.

Let's say Saturday night rolls around and you want to see a movie. More specifically, you want to see a really slow movie because... I dunno... maybe you have a lot of time on your hands. In addition to this, you want the movie to be filled with really bad atmospheric music - the kind of tinny, headache-inducing crap that tries to convey suspense, but can't because the plot is smoking a joint and can't really see the point of "going anywhere" or "doing anything." Let's assume that on top of this all you don't want to mess with technical things like character development and a well-written script. And as far as actors go, you prefer a pretty face to any semblance of talent. Cameron Diaz and/or James Marsden might fill this role perfectly.

If this sounds like something you're in the mood for, go see "The Box."

Otherwise, avoid it like the swine flu.



  1. haha Barry you have such a way with words! I'm glad you cleared this up though, I was considering seeing this flick.

  2. Wow, good to know. I hadn't even heard of it, but it sounds supreme-o lame.

  3. I'm glad you cleared this up though, I was considering seeing this flick. Work From Home

  4. That's too bad. The trailer looked decent.
    Will a good movie EVER come out!? It's been the year of CRAP in the theaters. I want ALL my money back, Hollywood!!

  5. So, I can't quite tell...did you like it or not??